Losing your virginity is one of the most special and memorable times in your life. It is a rite of passage that opens the door to a new phase of their journey towards adulthood. And if you are an Indian, then the chances are that when you had first time sex, it was also plagued with feelings of guilt, shame and fear because of the attached societal and cultural norms.
In India, sex is still considered taboo, and open dialogue about sex is often met with disapproval and judgement. Because of this position, there is a lack of awareness and knowledge about what sex is, especially, among young adults, rife with misunderstanding and myths about sex. This leads to a great many young adults to have their first sexual encounter with fear and trepidation, unsure of what to anticipate.
But we need to plant in the momentum that sex for the first time needs to be destigmatized and normalized. It’s a natural and healthy part of being an adult and it’s important to have the right attitude and information around it. So here are few things to keep in mind, for a positive and memorable first time sexual experience.
Consent is everything – The maximum relevant aspect of any sexual activity is consent. It is important to communicate with your partner and exchange consent for sexual activity. An act done without permission becomes sexual assault and it is a crime.
Protect yourself – The most important thing is to use protection, protecting both yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Always use some contraceptives like a condom or birth control pills stune in avoiding any risks.
Talk to your partner — Communication is everything in sex. You need to talk with your partner about what you’d like, what’s off the table and what you expect. It promotes trust and makes the experience for both parties more pleasant.
Be present and relax – It’s completely normal to feel nervous and anxious about your first sexual experience. But it’s important to take a break and enjoy the moment. They say not to let fear and insecurities mess with the experience. Instead, pay attention to the sensations and feelings you’re having.
What to do if you want to stop – if at any time you don’t want to continue, you’re absolutely free to say no. However, you are free to change your mind and your partner ought to abide by this. Remember, you’re under no pressure to do anything you’re not ready for.
It won’t be perfect — In Hollywood, first-time sex is often a flawless, magical experience. But the truth is, it might not be mint. If it doesn’t go to plan, that’s OK, and it’s natural to feel awkward or clumsy. Learning takes time, and getting better takes time and it can be a fun process with the right person.
And finally, do not let social norms and expectations define your sexual experience. It is also important to realize that sex is a personal and intimate act, and that is perfectly fine to explore and to discover at your own pace. Don’t ever let anybody pressure you into something that you’re not ready for, and always remember to prioritize your safety and well-being.
To sum up, losing your virginity is a big deal and should be treated as such – this is not something you want to do on a whim, or with the wrong person. We need to end the stigma and talk about sex openly and healthily Let’s move towards making a safe and positive space where people can experiment with their sexuality without shame or judgement.